Is any of this true for you?
- You’re missing each other’s cues; it’s like you’re speaking different languages.
- Your attraction for your partner isn’t what it used to be; you can’t bring it up because you don’t want to hurt them.
- Your family/relationship history keeps you from trusting your partner’s love so you lash out with anger to avoid connection, pushing them away.
- You don’t feel acknowledged or seen in your relationship. You feel defeated and pull away.
- No matter what you do, you’re not doing enough. Your partner never seems satisfied, so you shut down.
You are not the problem; you are trapped in a negative cycle of interaction that keeps you stuck. My role is to create a secure base for both of you until we can identify your patterns, make meaning of those emotional triggers that keep you from bonding with each other, and help you create a secure attachment with your partner.
Let’s Be Curious!
Once we understand the negative cycle, we’ll work on interrupting those patterns and reengaging in a new way. As an EFT Couples Therapist, I’m not going to teach you new communication skills; I’m going to help you get curious and make sense of what’s keeping you from communicating, so you can see each other in a new way that makes it easy to say what you feel.
As a Certified Emotionally Focused therapist, I've completed advance training and spent hundreds of clinical hours engaged with couples in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). I'm a member of the Los Angeles Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy and The International Centre for Excellence of Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT).
What is EFT?
EFT uses an evidence-based approach to couples therapy focused on bonding and the science of adult attachment. It combines the attachment work of John Bowlby, the humanistic approach of Carl Rogers, and the family systems lens of Salvador Minuchin. Here’s more information on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft/
You’re the experts on your relationship.
EFT is a natural companion to my work in Narrative Therapy, helping me see your relationship separate from the problem cycle that keeps you stuck. We’re going to name it to tame it!
I’ll pull in beside you as a process observer and we’ll get to know your cycle, understand the roles and goals of anger, frustration, and shut down, and get clear on your values as a couple. I’m going to help you get out of your head and into your heart so your partner can really see you.
I’m a non-pathologizing, sex-positive, LGBTQ+ Affirmative couples therapist who is going to make it safe for you to uncover what keeps you stuck. We’ll get curious about ways your cycle is influenced by internalized homophobia, shame, sexuality, addiction, and trauma. I’m trained in LGBTQ+ Affirmative therapy and I also identify as a member of the LGBTQ+ community. You will feel safe and seen by me in our work together.
For more information about my work with couples, contact me to schedule a phone consultation and let’s get started!
